Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
