I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
