My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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