Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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