You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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