just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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