Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
