Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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