My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
