shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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