Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He kissed a someone with a penis
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
