Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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