Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
