i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
