I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize