Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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