i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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