a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
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