Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
