grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
