he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
