wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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