i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
