Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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