All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
