I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
