We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Someone came in the potted fern
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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