Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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