You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
