he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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