Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
