dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
