This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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