ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
