Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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