i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
