You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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