You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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