Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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