they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
