Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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