hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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