At least make sure they are 18
Why
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
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I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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