My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize