no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
