Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
