yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
