Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize