I want to stick my p in your. b.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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