The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
