no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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