I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
