he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
