Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
