Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
