We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm really into asian looking animals
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
