i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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