I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
