Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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