we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
