I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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