Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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