:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
