Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
