Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
