If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
