THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize